BLESSINGS. I am counting.

I'm confused. I don't know what I want to do with my life. What's in store for my life when I wake up tomorrow. I feel so lucky that many are there unselfish enough to contribute happiness and that I will forever be grateful to those who always wishes all the love in the world for me.

I have always been blessed. YES. I have said that many times ♥ 1st of all, with Andi. My forever happiness. When all else fails, she'd be there to love me. 2nd are my family who contains unconditional for me. 3rd are the guys who shows love; them who I consider God's bonuses in my life.

I'm so LUCKY. I'm a star!

Forever in my loving arms, pretty baby :)

Someday I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far
Behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me.

---SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW.

☄ UNTITLED.

I can't think of what to say.. I feel like sharing my thoughts this morning but as usual, it's this kind of mornings when I choose to be a lazy ass like that. I'm lost for words. I know where but I just don't know how to start. I want to write a genuine blog but yea, I'm too darn lazy!

K, so baby A and I woke up 5 am, cos Andi's an early bird therefore, mommy should be one, too. I'm not that lazy naman pala for waking up this early☺ kudos to baby A! I didn't notice last night that while I was patting Andi I fell asleep with her. I was monitoring Andi cos she's sick. Wawa baby ☹

Anyway, this I will share..

Where do I even begin to describe how I WAS before Andi came to my life. Well, it would take long so I'll just skip that part. Anyway, F! for the good-for-nothing father of Andi. F! for treating me like I am not the mother of his child. F! for being such a dumb ass. F! for complicating things. So much F's!!!!!!!!!!

✞ K, so I'll pray for your soul so you won't burn in hell. BOO yea!

And now I'm speechless! Oh I'm sooo mad. Good thing I think straight and I think selflessly. Top concern is my child, my Andreina, my super ✰.

A picture that describes how you'd like to spend everyday.

Funny how other people pity those who became a mom at a young age. I wonder why they make it sound so tragic.. Plus, since they weren't the ones who actually experienced it, they'll talk crap out of what happened to other peoples misfortune. Misfortune daw oh? lol :p when I got pregnant I never really thought of it as a misfortune, but more of a blessing ♥

K, let's talk about blessings.

Grabe, I'm truly blessed with so much! Heaping love from everyone who cares and loves me :) honestly, from that one phase on my life I learned a lot. I learned that people just come and go.. They'll come to teach you whatever, to somehow contribute in your existence (may ganon? haha!). You live, you learn. You love, you learn. Ya hurd?

All I can talk about now is how happy I am to have a beautiful baby :) everytime I start to blog about her, I can't help but feel like crying. It's so nice to be a mom. Yes it's true when they say that it's tough yet rewarding to take care of a child, especially when she's your own. Tough but it's all worth it. Only selfish individuals would say that it's a punishment for bearing a child at a wrong time. AND THIS I TELL YOU, GO TO HELL.

I admit, I kinda thought that I'm being punished for messing up my life BIGTIME, like really! You know what I mean? For causing so much pain in my own mommy's heart.. I guess I really deserve this. Infairness to God, his consequences aren't that difficult. Cos if it is, I wouldn't feel this happy for having Andi. As I always say, God blessed me too much.. And for that I will forever be grateful. For the unconditional love of my family, for the 'next-level' patience that I'm receiving from my mom; whose love for me, I know I will never be able to match, for the I can't explain support I'm getting from my dear sisters.. They are the priceless gifts from God that I will never ever trade for anything else in this world :)

Cos it has always been worth sharing :)

NEW PERSPECTIVE
(from: http://www.50firstdates.multiply.com/)

Since I gave birth to my Andreina, I'm not much of a blogger now. I have no time, been busy taking care of my baby and I don't have enough sleep anymore. But since she's asleep now, I kinda miss sharing what's in my mind.
I've been twitting (http://www.twitter.com/melalabs) how nice it is to be a MOMMA and that I appreciate my mother more now that I am a mother as well. If you only know how freaky it is to be inside the labor room and seeing only all this nurses injecting and injecting all this medic stuffs in my arms. OMG. Anyway, I remember asking one of the nurses if my mom can sit next to me while it's not "the show" yet. She replied, "Mommy, hindi po pwede eh." My gosh.. MY HEART CRIED!
So, many of you were asking me how was it like to give birth.. Painful, YES. Woke up 7:34 in the morning and I immedaitely told my mom that 'I think' I'm having contractions already. I am not that sure of it much 'cause days before I've been feeling slight pains and I've been having spottings. I walked the streets of Sct. Chuatoco and Sct. Reyes. The whole day I kept on walking and walking and I'm not sitting down as to what my mom says so that IT WILL BE THE DAY! 5:00 pm; I can no longer walk. Though my water bag hasn't broke yet, we went to the hospital already and was admitted around 5:30. Hours passed and I can't open my eyes anymore. Drogy na from all the meds.lol

All my nursing friends told me that LABOR is like hell. Honestly, it's not that bad. Only the IE during contractions is the major B. I mean, really! Imagine feeling the unexplainable pain then they'll stick their fingers pa inside you. And what's worse is that you can feel their fingers moving! Kaloka much tehh. I can remember when I feel like pushing real hard while doing IE, someone carried me for the stretcher and the next thing I knew, I was at delivery room already. Btw, that guy nurse is cute :) moving on, so there I was at the delivery room. I can't quite remember but I saw (I didn't felt it) they hung my legs, like in porn films. HAHA and one of the nurses, he was too mabagal in tying my left arm. Namura ko tuloy sya. I'M SORRY. I woke up 3:00 am at the recovery room. I even thought I was
at the morgue and I asked pa if I'm dead! FUNNEH! :))

The long wait is over! I got my angel now the first time I held her, I told her na sya pala yung sumisipa sa tyan ko for 5 months. Ignorant much talaga ko! lol

Being a first time mommy is really a WOW! cheers to that.

I must take the baby steps till I'm full grown.

You can tell your Jesus that the bitch is back. -Georgina Sparks.

Gadeym night to alla ya'll! Middle finger in the air. PFT!
Why is it that everytime I smoke I feel irritated and I think everyone around me is being INSENSITIVE and the like? Tssss. And NO, I AM NOT MOTHER FCUKIN' PREGNANT! I'm not ready for baby no. 2 yet. And I don't think I will ever be. lol

Browsed my cellphone inbox, purposely so that I can delete all the messages. Until I saw this message from my baby's bastard father.
REYES KA NGA ANDI. (????????) Are you fcuking kidding me? You want my baby to take your surname??? So that's it??? FCUK YOU!

I know I shouldn't stress myself by what he's telling me, but c'mon! All I'm thinking now is how am I going to raise my baby without her asking me who her real father is. My concern, only concern is my baby's future. But with him bugging me all the time, how am I going to do that? I don't want him taking part of my baby's life, OKAY?

I think my mom's right. My fate is now charging me. I am now suffering from the consequences of my actions.

WEAK :|

I'm still pale and weak. Super headache and my body aches like hell! I've been taking meds and thank God, it's working. My bleeding finally stopped. Like, what a relief! Problem now is to how to balance my low blood pressure. My mom made me drink herbal juices, malunggay juice AGAIN. Just like after I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl :)

As what I always say, IT SUCKS TO LIE TO MY DAD. Like really! We (yes, WE) lied to my dad cos we don't want him to feel bad about what happened when we went home. We left all the groceries in the taxi cab! All the groceries that my dad bought for us and most of all, to our baby girl. Until now, I cry just the thought of it. Talked to someone about what happened then he told me, consider it as a blessing to others. Then I said, it's like stealing. I mean c'mon! The taxi driver knew it all along and he didn't even remind us that we still have things in his compartment. That's stealing. right? Well, instant groceries for him. Tsss.

Anyway, twas my check up last Tuesday. Oh dear God! The same pain I felt when I was about to give birth! OUCH much. The freaky feeling of seeing only nurses around you and they're all looking in me, IN ME. Ya dig? I saw this tong which they used to stick inside me, I almost fainted. Wew! Then afterwards pulled out something that looks like a fetus. (I'm not pregnant, k?) They said twas Hormonal Imbalance since I stopped breastfeeding 1st week of February, after effect.

Good thing I'm "so-so" okay now. I can take extra care of my Andreina :) kudos to my ever so living Mom!