You can tell your Jesus that the bitch is back. -Georgina Sparks.
Gadeym night to alla ya'll! Middle finger in the air. PFT!
Why is it that everytime I smoke I feel irritated and I think everyone around me is being INSENSITIVE and the like? Tssss. And NO, I AM NOT MOTHER FCUKIN' PREGNANT! I'm not ready for baby no. 2 yet. And I don't think I will ever be. lol
Browsed my cellphone inbox, purposely so that I can delete all the messages. Until I saw this message from my baby's bastard father.
REYES KA NGA ANDI. (????????) Are you fcuking kidding me? You want my baby to take your surname??? So that's it??? FCUK YOU!
I know I shouldn't stress myself by what he's telling me, but c'mon! All I'm thinking now is how am I going to raise my baby without her asking me who her real father is. My concern, only concern is my baby's future. But with him bugging me all the time, how am I going to do that? I don't want him taking part of my baby's life, OKAY?
I think my mom's right. My fate is now charging me. I am now suffering from the consequences of my actions.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
WEAK :|
I'm still pale and weak. Super headache and my body aches like hell! I've been taking meds and thank God, it's working. My bleeding finally stopped. Like, what a relief! Problem now is to how to balance my low blood pressure. My mom made me drink herbal juices, malunggay juice AGAIN. Just like after I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl :)
As what I always say, IT SUCKS TO LIE TO MY DAD. Like really! We (yes, WE) lied to my dad cos we don't want him to feel bad about what happened when we went home. We left all the groceries in the taxi cab! All the groceries that my dad bought for us and most of all, to our baby girl. Until now, I cry just the thought of it. Talked to someone about what happened then he told me, consider it as a blessing to others. Then I said, it's like stealing. I mean c'mon! The taxi driver knew it all along and he didn't even remind us that we still have things in his compartment. That's stealing. right? Well, instant groceries for him. Tsss.
Anyway, twas my check up last Tuesday. Oh dear God! The same pain I felt when I was about to give birth! OUCH much. The freaky feeling of seeing only nurses around you and they're all looking in me, IN ME. Ya dig? I saw this tong which they used to stick inside me, I almost fainted. Wew! Then afterwards pulled out something that looks like a fetus. (I'm not pregnant, k?) They said twas Hormonal Imbalance since I stopped breastfeeding 1st week of February, after effect.
Good thing I'm "so-so" okay now. I can take extra care of my Andreina :) kudos to my ever so living Mom!
As what I always say, IT SUCKS TO LIE TO MY DAD. Like really! We (yes, WE) lied to my dad cos we don't want him to feel bad about what happened when we went home. We left all the groceries in the taxi cab! All the groceries that my dad bought for us and most of all, to our baby girl. Until now, I cry just the thought of it. Talked to someone about what happened then he told me, consider it as a blessing to others. Then I said, it's like stealing. I mean c'mon! The taxi driver knew it all along and he didn't even remind us that we still have things in his compartment. That's stealing. right? Well, instant groceries for him. Tsss.
Anyway, twas my check up last Tuesday. Oh dear God! The same pain I felt when I was about to give birth! OUCH much. The freaky feeling of seeing only nurses around you and they're all looking in me, IN ME. Ya dig? I saw this tong which they used to stick inside me, I almost fainted. Wew! Then afterwards pulled out something that looks like a fetus. (I'm not pregnant, k?) They said twas Hormonal Imbalance since I stopped breastfeeding 1st week of February, after effect.
Good thing I'm "so-so" okay now. I can take extra care of my Andreina :) kudos to my ever so living Mom!
Monday, January 11, 2010
Faith gives me strength
Feeling sentimental tonight.. I'm listenig to Jim Brickman's LOVE OF MY LIFE. I'm playing it over and over.. I feel like I need to cry.
My mom noticed that I've been texting alot. She reminded me 'again' to never forget that things are different now, and by that she meant PRIORITIES FIRST. Which is, my daughter. When she said that, I thought of otherwise. Like, I'm not supposed to be in-love again.. I hope I'm just over-reacting but I don't know, I feel crushed. So, this is the punishment I get for blowing things off! Of getting myself into a real mess and look at me now, I'm a mom at a young age. I understand that somehow, my family's still bitter about what happened to me. The least I can do is show them that I am responsible enough to take care of my own child. But sometimes, my mom make it so difficult for me to do what I have to do. Like, instead of encouraging me, she sometimes push me down.. Of course, understanding it is. I love my mom, yes. I just don't know how long I can go on whit this feeling I have in my heart.
Lord please, help me.
My mom noticed that I've been texting alot. She reminded me 'again' to never forget that things are different now, and by that she meant PRIORITIES FIRST. Which is, my daughter. When she said that, I thought of otherwise. Like, I'm not supposed to be in-love again.. I hope I'm just over-reacting but I don't know, I feel crushed. So, this is the punishment I get for blowing things off! Of getting myself into a real mess and look at me now, I'm a mom at a young age. I understand that somehow, my family's still bitter about what happened to me. The least I can do is show them that I am responsible enough to take care of my own child. But sometimes, my mom make it so difficult for me to do what I have to do. Like, instead of encouraging me, she sometimes push me down.. Of course, understanding it is. I love my mom, yes. I just don't know how long I can go on whit this feeling I have in my heart.
Lord please, help me.
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